What I learned:

To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

~Ecclesiastes 2:26

we are human.


Having such a wonderful chat with Chelle last night, it really made me realize that there were still stw people outside my clique that I could talk tO. and what more she was / had gone through alot that I am myself. NOt like we're solving it like superwomen but at least we know that we're not alone. it Was refreshing, as there were many things I could share.. and not feel judged.


Most of all it made me realize how nice it was having such a freEdom in life. To stay up so late. To drive home at 6am with the windows dowN and the smell of wet grass so strongly in your nostrills. To know that today is such a wonderful day.Starting off right. So yearning for the Everest's in the world Yet to be climbed. But knowing that you are only human and there are things you just cant do. Somehow it didn't seem that bad either. Because you know that there are things that you can and you should. WHEther you must that would then be up to you.

to Have the right to type according to your moods,Whether they be capped or noT, wherever I want. To hear my stomach grumbling because I chose not to eat instead of not being able to. To feel the fan above me spinning and spinning and spinning, making my feet cold and my body warm. Have you ever felt that comfort cuddling under a  blanket with your soles cold and trunk warm? tO Know that I can infact leave, annytime I want. That eventhough things are plaguing my MINd that I CAn chose to push it back and look at... the flower on my table instead.

I enjoy this freedom, this spontaneity, such calmness such piousness, no one can give but Him.
And I thank Him for that, everything that's came into my life thus far
 ShaPing me into who I am today
 My lacks and my strengths

I know i've got a long way to go still but  i know I'm going somewhere
 And i'm going somewhere He wants me to go
I'm going somewhere I damn well want to go

tHIs is LIfe.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
~ Tom Stoppard

Amen

•  Spastic Children Association Penang.- It's unbelievable how normal they can look, (or even the fact that a 14 year old CP'ed boy can pwn you in maths, for the matter)  and yet have CP. How spastic their movements are, how some cannot even chew, how little Gab is so verbal in his communications and how little Jac goes into fits about thrice everyday, how strong their parents must be to not only be able to bring their children  in everyday, but to do those stretching exercise and be hit with the reality that their child will always be stigmatized, over and over and over again. How strong their will must be, those parents whose  first and only child is diagnosed with idiopathic cerebral palsy. How we take the ability to walk so sparingly and these kid's goals are to be able to walk properly one day.
• A week into the KKIK's and I already want to be a permanent member there. All I want to do is sit in the clinic/ lab and draw blood everyday or do unlimited Reflo's or hear the familiar dub dub dub's from the sphygmomanometer. So much for aiming high and reaching for the stars. Heck, I just want to be an MO. hahahaha!
• Hokkien! Dammit it took me more than 10 minutes and grossly exaggerated hand movements just to tell this standard 5 educated auntie to come back 2 days later and again next tuesday.  
• And I quote; "No lor, my son don't have girlfriend yet. You interested or not? My son engineer leh!" It took me almost all my willpower just to not burst out laughing and look rude.
• Conferences, conferences and more conferences. I've realized that the art of acquiring freebies from those big pharmaceutical companies is indeed a skill that needs to be learned. I noticed that some of my seniors are just so ....smooth. Haha. 
• What happened to 'weekends'? I seem to be away every single weekend that there's absolutely no time to rest. :(
• Today we looked for our 2nd Fam health project patient. Thank God we found a really cooperative and 'same frequency' one.That was where I realized that I am not looking forward to entering the hospitals 7/5 next week when we start the medicine rotation! I want to grow mushrooms in the KKIK!!! *rants*
• Simon once jokingly said that I sweat like a guy; I'm beginning to think that he may actually be right. 
• But basketball is just as awesome as ever! I still need new shoes tho.
• Is it just me or has my irritability score gone off the scale again.
• I think in this week I've prayed more than I did for the whole of last year. Starting to think about alot of things in more details.
• I think the term ' understanding the opposite sex' is actually an oxymoron.
• Psychoing and brainwashing myself using Chris Quilala's I Exalt Thee actually works. 

I think I need a break. stat.

Ships in harbours are safe, But that's not what ships are built for.

~John Shedd

Hey peeps! Been a while since the last update.

Anyway gonna keep it short and simple;

•  Started the 2 weeks attachment in MMUH. So it's down to taking histories every single day, as many as possible, as efficient as possible, as fast as possible..  uuhhhhh okay, maybe fast isn't the right word to use lah, I'm pretty confused with what style/ template we're supposed to use. for eg: for our presentation, should our opening sentence use the patient's own words, or should it be in our own medical terms? All the interns/ sho/ reg's seem to be telling different things. heck, OHCM seem to be saying different things too! Everytime my partner and I present, we. get. grilled.  But looking on the brightside, we're getting better every. single. time. The only thing i guess i could really work on is the reading up part. (read: LAZY :P)
• Malaysian Night was awesome. ESPECIALLY the chinese dance. Well, to be fair all  the dances were really good, but i guess the chinese one holds a special place in my heart ... i'm biased nyek nyek. Yeah as for the constant bugging reminders i get to upload it,... will do! once i;m done with this week's hosp. -which btw, would be tmrw... so PATIENCE!!!-
• 4 weeks and 3 days more to the land of my spilled blood (literal translation lol)
• Leading worship for the first time ever this sunday. Really appreciate Kells giving me this chance, but i have to keep reminding myself that its a team effort. There are only we's and not i's. In fact, i'd say there's only Him and not us. :)
• Lost my phone. =( okay there goes my plan of bugging my dad saving up for an iphone. I think if i had lost that, i might actually have slit  my wrists!  Ps- msian hospitals have no wifi right?
• If you google Hosea's Wife, you'd have found out that she was a paradox. Apart from being a song sung by Brooke Fraser, it also tells of how God used her as a symbol of a sinning nation. At the end of the day I dont know if she's the bad guy (definitely nothing like Rahab) or a significant bad guy. It also addresses... (not quite, but at least it tries) the issue of What do we live for? ...  (i got that from youtube lol) - Doesn't mean that i'm pondering over my life now either -  It's just a nice song, and a nice song at that. :)
• Brooke Fraser is my new favourite artist! (altho some of her songs do actually suck :P)
• On a more personal note, I find myself turning pretty emotionless come these few weeks. hmmmm ~.~ such a far cry from how emotional i used to be eh...  but it's good, at least i wont feel like the worst person on earth when you start taking histories from people with cancer. cough, not like i actually took hx from a guy with final stage tumor behind his eye and who was dam sulky and i felt dam bad cus he might just die anytime.. or something cough.
• Oh i also got taken out on my very first date. ha ha ha h ah..  and and and...and lastly................

• ♥

Life seems to have fallen right back into place. with the same actors, same stage and the same play. Yet it's so different now. (being poetic here lols) so very different. Different in a good way. :)

More appreciative, more cautious, an entire newness that I've never experienced before. I like it. =)
Happy Feb peeps!

The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
~Joseph Addison

The birds that fill your days anew
Hopping stones;
they're never through

Nihilo clouding dreams.
Awaken, cry. scream.

life
what do you know?

A thread unwound
That song unsung
The gRace


not run.