Do I have any regrets in Medicine?
yes and no. Yes because it means I will be unable to live out to the maximum happiness potential as a woman, a girlfriend, a wife (sort of like IUGR haha) Yes because my world has become so limited now ... to the areas of medical practice, which drains every single ATP i have in my system so much so that when I get home I just want to collapse. Yes because I make decisions which when I look back sometimes, it only makes me feel like the most horrible person on earth. Yes because when the time comes I don't know if I can afford to continue on serving those in need, or making good clinical judgement all things given. Yes because I will lose many friends who will eventually evolve into people who only need me for one reason. Yes because one small slip over the wrong nerve could cause him excruciating pain, it leaves almost no space for mistakes. Yes because this could one day be the death of me.
Yet it has been an awesome journey so far. I don't think any other profession could make me appreciate money any more than this or the ability to put a smile on people's faces; or knowing that regardless of how ugly it sounds they really do come hand in hand. I look at people and I'd like to think that I see more to what they project, I learn how to read the invisible tangents in the air . I'd like to talk to the uncle and address his doubts (to my capability) whatever that has been causing him sleepless nights. I met an amazing guy who has helped me tackle emotions that I've never known existed. I do believe that if it wasn't for medicine then our courses might never have collided again. It has taught me far more than I've ever learned in the first 17 years of my life. The stumbles and triumphs has shaped me into this neurotic fella I am today, who'd cry at a grandmothers complains and who'd yell at patients relatives. I've got a long journey ahead, so long that to be honest, I don't really see the light at the end of the tunnel. But it doesn't mean that I'll stop moving onwards.
Because it is the only route I have.
