Today I realized I will not become a cardiologist
Showing posts with label Threading Needles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Threading Needles. Show all posts
There are often instances when realizations hit you with a BAM and you wonder just what the hell are you doing here and now?
Paeds has made me realize how awfully skilled are paediatricians. Truly, they must be one of the most innovative people on earth. And yours truly would happen to be on the other end of the spectrum. It's probably not very smart to be saying how poor is my interaction with children, but yes.. this morning I made an infant cry and this random uncle walking by was like 'horrrr you ahh... make other people's children cry'. And it wasn't because I examined her, the only thing I did was carry her!
They say that children can tell beautiful people apart... I agree. They say that children can read vibes better than any other... I agree as well. They say that children.. and to a certain extent, pets; can tell if you're a good person or not.... I agree.
So does that mean that I've become so filled with hate that intrinsically I'm gone....
Fall seven times, stand up eight.~Japanese proverb
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It is said to be the most common cause of heritable mental retardation second only to Downs.
It is caused by a distruption in the expression by either an nucleotide expansion or deletions of FMR1. A dominant X-Linked gene (FMR-1; familial mentral retardation 1) *trying to type the longest sentence ever expressed in a single breath*
Loss of the FMR1 expression results in Fragile X.
Clinically they will present with;
Pre-pubertal; Normal growth but a large head, Delayed developmental milestones, an association with autism, ADHD, tantrums.
Post-puberty; Long face, low IQ, Macroorchidism
other opthalmo, orthopaedic, dermato and cardiac anomalies.
Reason for nerding today?
I saw a 5 year old boy suspected for Fragile X in the clinic today. He came in due to a refusal to eat food other than kwey teow soup and drinks milk every 2 hourly. Outward appearance appeared normal, none of what has been described above; plus his mother mentioned that she was also slow to walk when she was younger. Eye contact was surprisingly- still held, but otherwise he would definitely have struck me as an autistic child.
I also met a child who was then diagnosed with spastic hemiplegia CP. Such an adorable 16 month old, who smiles incessantly and active as ever. Yet his mother cried when the doctor confirmed her worst fears -- that her baby wasn't normal. Cried even more when he advised her to apply for the OKU card actually.
Hmm. makes me wonder if there could be something between me and paeds. as much as its painful to go through the milestone examinations I'm starting to feel how Bern could be so attached to the little darlings. CP's are generally quite common but I think that encountering a Fragile X for the first time was quite.... mentionable. (there is no such english word)
Guess they aren't only found in textbooks under 'rare'.
Oh yeah talking about rare; there was a Henoch schonlein purpura case in the wards today.
YUP. you could see the 'WHAT?!' s on top of all our heads when the specialist came up with the diagnosis. Upon inspection I thought it was a freaking healing chicken pox (but i did reason out that if it was he would have probably been isolated) !!
Anyways paeds has been quite eventful thus far.
No quote today but I'll show u a picca
:)
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Today we met a very eccentric doctor
His name is Mr Lvln, and he's a consultant surgeon
He reminded us once again why were we studying medicine
He showed us what it means to be 'dedicated'
If I can survive with 4 hours of sleep per day why cant you?
Sometimes it hits me how much we're getting pampered in this generation of ours
Ask Mr Mjt how nasty he was to his HOs and MOs in the past
I became a surgeon at the age of x5 and sat for x qualifications in 5 years
Back in Dublin we had a dentist-oringomaxillary surgeon who became the first years medicine coordinator
His name is Dr J Las. And boy he was young and charismatic :P
(But he's actually not that young - still charismatic), we found out
What he told us then, haunts us again today
When you study medicine, you need an anatomy, a physio, a biochem and a patho book in front of you
I wouldnt mind doing surgery in Taiping tht's for sure (but I'll definitely need his prep talk alot!)
His name is Mr Lvln, and he's a consultant surgeon
He reminded us once again why were we studying medicine
He showed us what it means to be 'dedicated'
If I can survive with 4 hours of sleep per day why cant you?
Sometimes it hits me how much we're getting pampered in this generation of ours
Ask Mr Mjt how nasty he was to his HOs and MOs in the past
I became a surgeon at the age of x5 and sat for x qualifications in 5 years
Back in Dublin we had a dentist-oringomaxillary surgeon who became the first years medicine coordinator
His name is Dr J Las. And boy he was young and charismatic :P
(But he's actually not that young - still charismatic), we found out
What he told us then, haunts us again today
When you study medicine, you need an anatomy, a physio, a biochem and a patho book in front of you
Today I found out how lacking I am
And arrogant I have been
I know nothing
And yet I am so full of myself
My reasons for doing medicine.... remains mine to be judged
I wont deny that perhaps it's not what the philantrophists would like to hear
But they are mine and mine alone
"Encik mane wad 18 ye?"PRECIOUS.
"Oh tepi wad gila..."
~The security guard who answered us this morning.
Mum decided I was a little too free dawdling around the house so she decided that I'd be interested in doing a short attachment in HSM. Yes the italics and the first person pov usage says alot. hahaha
I got a good tongue-in-cheek answer tho;- " so that you'll have interesting things to talk about with me".
Right.
I used to think that those doctors I met during my first attachment, the very first ones, the one where JPA wanted us to have to put into our CV, the ones where you try to pretend like your doctors, hang around, do nothing, understand nothing and even take up patients beds on the pretense of being on-call.... I DIGRESS.
Yah, i used to think tht those doctors who asked me over and over and over and over again, if medicine was reallllllly what i wanted to do. Did I really know what i was getting myself into? I think I remember one of them even telling me that it wasn't worth it, it actually wasn't. hahaha. Wow, those were the days.
Only today, you're still taking up space and oxygen, but fortunately, at least you're giving back a little something in return. if only ~ really. Not that bad, a hand here, a cuff there, you make yourself useful... by staying out of their way. hehe. There are times where I wonder if it would be different overseas, I wonder if the doctors there face the same predicaments as the docs here. If they are overworked in overcrowded wards as well, or if they are ragged and irrationally berated by pmsy SHO's. (Tho i do know they get sued alot...lol)
Today I got tiao'ed in the hosp. The same someone also mentioned that I got affected emotionally by it. Yes meh?
I don't think so tho, cus if I did, i might have shouted back at her. Since technically I didn't have anything to lose; I wasn't her HO, i wasn't even a doc ffs, so i was in essence, nothing :)
Ah well, i hate doctors who pms in wards. meh. Dun wan shake hand mar dun wan shake hand lah.. ISH.
I suppose there are always the bright slides that you look for at the end of the day, things which are not essentially medicine (because I cannot prescribe or treat ppl, technically speaking, yet) but still such a vital part of it that you can't leave it out. I realize that I tend to so nicely ignore it because by omitting it, it makes me seem like I'm suffering so much for my life's cause. Things like having a 9 month old baby smiling and shaking hands with me, then having the grandmother say that he only does that to a very few handful of people, definitely not ppl he meets for the first time; Things like haggling with the MO to do suturing and realizing that it's not because he doesnt trust me but because he wants to do it himself... (he says as a student he never got to do it lol), Things like having 4 translators to get a question of 'do u have palpitations' across (like from english to chinese to hokkien, to half hokkien-thai to thai and back again) Things like having a nurse and the HO telling me that that person in mind memang damn pmsy one and that I dont have to worry too much.... things like that =)
not to mention, The special one is here~!!! It feels so surreal... :)
I like reaching out to grab a hand that is actually there.
I've found out that my mother doesn't agree with the quote ;)
Remind me again why am i doing medicine?
I got a good tongue-in-cheek answer tho;- " so that you'll have interesting things to talk about with me".
Right.
I used to think that those doctors I met during my first attachment, the very first ones, the one where JPA wanted us to have to put into our CV, the ones where you try to pretend like your doctors, hang around, do nothing, understand nothing and even take up patients beds on the pretense of being on-call.... I DIGRESS.
Yah, i used to think tht those doctors who asked me over and over and over and over again, if medicine was reallllllly what i wanted to do. Did I really know what i was getting myself into? I think I remember one of them even telling me that it wasn't worth it, it actually wasn't. hahaha. Wow, those were the days.
Only today, you're still taking up space and oxygen, but fortunately, at least you're giving back a little something in return. if only ~ really. Not that bad, a hand here, a cuff there, you make yourself useful... by staying out of their way. hehe. There are times where I wonder if it would be different overseas, I wonder if the doctors there face the same predicaments as the docs here. If they are overworked in overcrowded wards as well, or if they are ragged and irrationally berated by pmsy SHO's. (Tho i do know they get sued alot...lol)
Today I got tiao'ed in the hosp. The same someone also mentioned that I got affected emotionally by it. Yes meh?
I don't think so tho, cus if I did, i might have shouted back at her. Since technically I didn't have anything to lose; I wasn't her HO, i wasn't even a doc ffs, so i was in essence, nothing :)
Ah well, i hate doctors who pms in wards. meh. Dun wan shake hand mar dun wan shake hand lah.. ISH.
I suppose there are always the bright slides that you look for at the end of the day, things which are not essentially medicine (because I cannot prescribe or treat ppl, technically speaking, yet) but still such a vital part of it that you can't leave it out. I realize that I tend to so nicely ignore it because by omitting it, it makes me seem like I'm suffering so much for my life's cause. Things like having a 9 month old baby smiling and shaking hands with me, then having the grandmother say that he only does that to a very few handful of people, definitely not ppl he meets for the first time; Things like haggling with the MO to do suturing and realizing that it's not because he doesnt trust me but because he wants to do it himself... (he says as a student he never got to do it lol), Things like having 4 translators to get a question of 'do u have palpitations' across (like from english to chinese to hokkien, to half hokkien-thai to thai and back again) Things like having a nurse and the HO telling me that that person in mind memang damn pmsy one and that I dont have to worry too much.... things like that =)
not to mention, The special one is here~!!! It feels so surreal... :)
I like reaching out to grab a hand that is actually there.
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever~Mahatma Gandhi
I've found out that my mother doesn't agree with the quote ;)
- Spastic Children Association Penang.- It's unbelievable how normal they can look, (or even the fact that a 14 year old CP'ed boy can pwn you in maths, for the matter) and yet have CP. How spastic their movements are, how some cannot even chew, how little Gab is so verbal in his communications and how little Jac goes into fits about thrice everyday, how strong their parents must be to not only be able to bring their children in everyday, but to do those stretching exercise and be hit with the reality that their child will always be stigmatized, over and over and over again. How strong their will must be, those parents whose first and only child is diagnosed with idiopathic cerebral palsy. How we take the ability to walk so sparingly and these kid's goals are to be able to walk properly one day.
- A week into the KKIK's and I already want to be a permanent member there. All I want to do is sit in the clinic/ lab and draw blood everyday or do unlimited Reflo's or hear the familiar dub dub dub's from the sphygmomanometer. So much for aiming high and reaching for the stars. Heck, I just want to be an MO. hahahaha!
- Hokkien! Dammit it took me more than 10 minutes and grossly exaggerated hand movements just to tell this standard 5 educated auntie to come back 2 days later and again next tuesday.
- And I quote; "No lor, my son don't have girlfriend yet. You interested or not? My son engineer leh!" It took me almost all my willpower just to not burst out laughing and look rude.
- Conferences, conferences and more conferences. I've realized that the art of acquiring freebies from those big pharmaceutical companies is indeed a skill that needs to be learned. I noticed that some of my seniors are just so ....smooth. Haha.
- What happened to 'weekends'? I seem to be away every single weekend that there's absolutely no time to rest. :(
- Today we looked for our 2nd Fam health project patient. Thank God we found a really cooperative and 'same frequency' one.That was where I realized that I am not looking forward to entering the hospitals 7/5 next week when we start the medicine rotation! I want to grow mushrooms in the KKIK!!! *rants*
- Simon once jokingly said that I sweat like a guy; I'm beginning to think that he may actually be right.
- But basketball is just as awesome as ever! I still need new shoes tho.
- Is it just me or has my irritability score gone off the scale again.
- I think in this week I've prayed more than I did for the whole of last year. Starting to think about alot of things in more details.
- I think the term ' understanding the opposite sex' is actually an oxymoron.
- Psychoing and brainwashing myself using Chris Quilala's I Exalt Thee actually works.
Ships in harbours are safe, But that's not what ships are built for.
~John Shedd
I cannot be emotional nor a perfectionist.
but I am.
but I am.
- Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault.
- Dr. David M. Burns
