People really shouldnt jump from a realationship into another one right after the other. 
The elders were right after all.

In the silence of night I have often wished for just a few words of love from one man, rather than the applause of thousands of people. ~Judy Garland. 

He's queing up in a 4 row line at KL LCCT
Trolley of 2 full bags
Grumpy tired and lacking sleep
His parents somewhere behind him
talking to themselves
As he picks up his phone and dials me
Hey I'm checking in soon...gotta give the phone back to my dad after this so thought I'd say bye first... 


And I know the rest of my day isnt mine anymore.

The best thing about me is you.

~Shannon Crown

Prolly just had the most awesome 7 days of my life

• Ultimate relaxation
• Alot of pampering
• Learning how to float and breath naturally, pacing myself underwater after 10 years of forced swimming
• Alot of movies (tell me which part of Resident Evil is romantic, HUH?)
• Not so many trips to the atm
• Alot of driving
• Alot of getting nagged while driving
• Alot of eating
• Alot of sleeping after eating

Still, there were morning teachings at 0630's
There were tutorials that took 2 hours
Apparently I "eat alot"......................................                                                                    cis.
  
 But all good things come to and end
(ok in this case  maybe it's not too good also lah, I can't afford to carry on like this long term, i'd prolly fail med school or smtg)

Ahem. Like I was saying, all good things must come to an end

Playtime's over, I've got a massive headache and I've still got a tutorial to do. This. just. sucks. Meh~

Tonight, Inside,

When darkness turns to light,

It ends tonight.

~All American Rejects

 Mum decided I was a little too free dawdling around the house so she decided that I'd be interested in doing a short attachment in HSM. Yes the italics and the first person pov usage says alot. hahaha


I got a good tongue-in-cheek answer tho;- " so that you'll have interesting things to talk about with me".
Right.

I used to think that those doctors I met during my first attachment, the very first ones, the one where JPA wanted us to have to put into our CV, the ones where you try to pretend like your doctors, hang around, do nothing, understand nothing and even take up patients beds on the pretense of being on-call.... I DIGRESS.
Yah, i used to think tht those doctors who asked me over and over and over and over again, if medicine was reallllllly what i wanted to do. Did I really know what i was getting myself into? I think I remember one of them even telling me that it wasn't worth it, it actually wasn't. hahaha. Wow, those were the days.

Only today, you're still taking up space and oxygen, but fortunately, at least you're giving back a little something in return. if only ~ really. Not that bad, a hand here, a cuff there, you make yourself useful... by staying out of their way. hehe. There are times where I wonder if it would be different overseas, I wonder if the doctors there face the same predicaments as the docs here. If they are overworked in overcrowded wards as well, or if they are ragged and irrationally berated by pmsy SHO's. (Tho i do know they get sued alot...lol)

Today I got tiao'ed in the hosp. The same someone also mentioned that I got affected emotionally by it. Yes meh?
I don't think so tho, cus if I did, i might have shouted back at her. Since technically I didn't have anything to lose; I wasn't her HO, i wasn't even a doc ffs, so i was in essence, nothing :)
Ah well, i hate doctors who pms in wards. meh. Dun wan shake hand mar dun wan shake hand lah.. ISH.

I suppose there are always the bright slides that you look for at the end of the day, things which are not essentially medicine (because I cannot prescribe or treat ppl, technically speaking, yet) but still such a vital part of it that you can't leave it out. I realize that I tend to so nicely ignore it because by omitting it, it makes me seem like I'm suffering so much for my life's cause. Things like having a 9 month old baby smiling and shaking hands with me, then having the grandmother say that he only does that to a very few handful of people, definitely not ppl he meets for the first time; Things like haggling with the MO to do suturing and realizing that it's not because he doesnt trust me but because he wants to do it himself... (he says as a student he never got to do it lol), Things like having 4 translators to get a question of 'do u have palpitations' across (like from english to chinese to hokkien, to half hokkien-thai to thai and back again) Things like having a nurse and the HO telling me that that person in mind memang damn pmsy one and that I dont have to worry too much.... things like that =)


not to mention, The special one is here~!!! It feels so surreal... :)
I like reaching out to grab a hand that is actually there.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever

~Mahatma Gandhi

I've found out that my mother doesn't agree with the quote ;)

Ytd when we had our open house, Pa called midway. and i couldnt answer the phone. Didn't check my laptop either, and when i did, i saw his msg... broke my heart in pieces leh. Dunno why but it's always these random pieces of conversations that make me realize how much my dad cares for me. =)  Did my souvenir shopping today. hehehe PA you'd BETTER be able to fit into what i got for u wei.... if not.. si beh bu neng jiu liao  =P

As the days where i return to my country draws closer, I realize that i'm getting alot more emotional and sappy about things. what? nothing general, everything in retrospect.
meh. talk about melodramatic.


you start to wonder if you're ever gonna get the same crazy strong stride stagger-able winds back home, or if you'll ever hear waterfalls in the middle of the night, or jet set to any country in Europe as long as it's less than 5 hours away or walk on that same stretch of road to school, or head down to Supervalue in the middle of baking when you've realized that you lack an ingredient, or walk to Tesco on sat mornings and come back with 4 tubs of Muller, or head out for cool late night walks and not worry about getting raped or kidnapped, basically, just chilling.

Personally, Ireland has always been R for Relax for me. If there's one thing I'm gonna miss terribly, and i know for sure, its the laid back lifestyle here. Sure we'd have our annual cram-before-exams-i-can't-sleep-tonight-and-i-need-my-3rd-cup-of-coffee-stat moments but otherwise, this is probably the first place in my life where i could just lie on my bed and not move for the whole day. except when to weewee. :P it's a wonder i didnt end up with pressure sores.

And it's also made me wonder about things. Like how far away we'd be from each other. how long 8 hours seem to be. how tiring and what the toll would be like on one another. life is not a bed of roses, feelings or no feelings aside. You often hear of people being too dreamy, who dream about happy ever afters for their fairy tails, but I wonder if it's possible to be over-realistic. be the one who douses cold water into the washing machine of reality, do you think there are people like that? do you think i could actually be one of them? lol, it seems only yesterday when i was daydreaming about how i'd like my dream wedding to be, how i'd be super gorgeous, vice versa and blablablah. today i find it hard to even fit into my jeans. hahahah.. MEH.

lol,  the last sentence above was a joke ok! anyway, its not all dull days and rainy skies, i see a rainbow at the end too. eg: i'll be seeing my family after 1.5 years of absence. looking at my cousin in law's album i realized the heckload of commotions that i've missed especially during CNY. Time. like any other precious' do not wait. there'd probably be a day where i actually look back and think ahhhhh those were the days when popo was still around. 


Happy CNY and Belated Valentine's day peeps!



and i owe my dad a conversation. =)

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.
~Enid Bagnold

Hey peeps! Been a while since the last update.

Anyway gonna keep it short and simple;

•  Started the 2 weeks attachment in MMUH. So it's down to taking histories every single day, as many as possible, as efficient as possible, as fast as possible..  uuhhhhh okay, maybe fast isn't the right word to use lah, I'm pretty confused with what style/ template we're supposed to use. for eg: for our presentation, should our opening sentence use the patient's own words, or should it be in our own medical terms? All the interns/ sho/ reg's seem to be telling different things. heck, OHCM seem to be saying different things too! Everytime my partner and I present, we. get. grilled.  But looking on the brightside, we're getting better every. single. time. The only thing i guess i could really work on is the reading up part. (read: LAZY :P)
• Malaysian Night was awesome. ESPECIALLY the chinese dance. Well, to be fair all  the dances were really good, but i guess the chinese one holds a special place in my heart ... i'm biased nyek nyek. Yeah as for the constant bugging reminders i get to upload it,... will do! once i;m done with this week's hosp. -which btw, would be tmrw... so PATIENCE!!!-
• 4 weeks and 3 days more to the land of my spilled blood (literal translation lol)
• Leading worship for the first time ever this sunday. Really appreciate Kells giving me this chance, but i have to keep reminding myself that its a team effort. There are only we's and not i's. In fact, i'd say there's only Him and not us. :)
• Lost my phone. =( okay there goes my plan of bugging my dad saving up for an iphone. I think if i had lost that, i might actually have slit  my wrists!  Ps- msian hospitals have no wifi right?
• If you google Hosea's Wife, you'd have found out that she was a paradox. Apart from being a song sung by Brooke Fraser, it also tells of how God used her as a symbol of a sinning nation. At the end of the day I dont know if she's the bad guy (definitely nothing like Rahab) or a significant bad guy. It also addresses... (not quite, but at least it tries) the issue of What do we live for? ...  (i got that from youtube lol) - Doesn't mean that i'm pondering over my life now either -  It's just a nice song, and a nice song at that. :)
• Brooke Fraser is my new favourite artist! (altho some of her songs do actually suck :P)
• On a more personal note, I find myself turning pretty emotionless come these few weeks. hmmmm ~.~ such a far cry from how emotional i used to be eh...  but it's good, at least i wont feel like the worst person on earth when you start taking histories from people with cancer. cough, not like i actually took hx from a guy with final stage tumor behind his eye and who was dam sulky and i felt dam bad cus he might just die anytime.. or something cough.
• Oh i also got taken out on my very first date. ha ha ha h ah..  and and and...and lastly................

• ♥

Life seems to have fallen right back into place. with the same actors, same stage and the same play. Yet it's so different now. (being poetic here lols) so very different. Different in a good way. :)

More appreciative, more cautious, an entire newness that I've never experienced before. I like it. =)
Happy Feb peeps!

The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
~Joseph Addison