Suddenly the world seemed much a brighter place, suddenly everyone was a nice person and suddenly, I wanted to be nice to everyone.

But then you start noticing tell-tale signs of weakness. Like how you tear up oh so-much-more often (because there is now someone to comfort you and to tell you it's okay), or how instead of sucking it up and hitting back twice as hard you run to the nearest computer (because you want to tell the other half how ill-treated you were today) or better still, how you just get utterly totally depressed. PERIOD (pun unintended).

My personal opinion is that a healthy relationship is always a two-edged sword. (After the fireworks have died down) you'll find that it is so much easier to be hurt, more so by the special someone. And that mere words could make or ruin your day. But at the same time, it gives you a meaning, a place to return to after a long day of life. Or even the freedom to type sans proper punctuations.

Like how Uncle Ben put it; with great power comes great(er) responsibilities. I suppose it's true.... As a relationship begins to test the depth of deeper waters, the stakes are raised and the ice gets thinner and thinner. Much as I hate to compare it, sometimes it does seem like threading on thin ice, and it's bad because you never know when you're stepping on cracks, or when new cracks are forming, and honestly, whilst being surrounded by meter cubes of ice, avoiding (invisible) cracks' something really really hard to do!

When do you draw the line then? Between enjoying the ice rink and fearing for your life, hence avoiding putting on the skates altogether? When do you draw the line between yourself, him and the life you share together? Wait, is there even a line; should there even be a line? Do you throw away the dreams you had for yourself since getting into med school, for a life of warm dinners and warmer hugs?

Funny enough ...............................?

1. Better time management - 8 hours sleep, less time wasted, not being late, keeping to time

2. Hardwork - Less complains, more sheer work, again less time wasted

3. Less kiasuness

4. Less online shopping - I now recognize it as a proper problem

5. Mapping the future

Grow up Jo, Grow up!

TO have the chance to study something as prestigious as medicine and not worry about my quality of education

TO be given the financial grants to live meaningfully

TO have grown up surrounded by family members who support me through and through

TO have a wonderful someone who's always there for me

TO have friends who back you up and remind you that you're a nice person

TO be able to drink pearl milk tea whenever I want to

TO be able to travel 50000km to see the special someone and study overseas

TO have the appreciation of whatever I have now

Even if I had to retake paeds.

Blessed indeed.

Paeds has made me realize how awfully skilled are paediatricians. Truly, they must be one of the most innovative people on earth. And yours truly would happen to be on the other end of the spectrum. It's probably not very smart to be saying how poor is my interaction with children, but yes.. this morning I made an infant cry and this random uncle walking by was like 'horrrr you ahh... make other people's children cry'. And it wasn't because I examined her, the only thing I did was carry her!

They say that children can tell beautiful people apart... I agree. They say that children can read vibes better than any other... I agree as well. They say that children.. and to a certain extent, pets; can tell if you're a good person or not.... I agree.

So does that mean that I've become so filled with hate that intrinsically I'm gone....

It is caused by a distruption in the expression by either an nucleotide expansion or deletions of FMR1. A dominant X-Linked gene (FMR-1; familial mentral retardation 1) *trying to type the longest sentence ever expressed in a single breath*

Loss of the FMR1 expression results in Fragile X.

Clinically they will present with;

Pre-pubertal; Normal growth but a large head, Delayed developmental milestones, an association with autism, ADHD, tantrums.

Post-puberty; Long face, low IQ, Macroorchidism

other opthalmo, orthopaedic, dermato and cardiac anomalies.

Reason for nerding today?

I saw a 5 year old boy suspected for Fragile X in the clinic today. He came in due to a refusal to eat food other than kwey teow soup and drinks milk every 2 hourly. Outward appearance appeared normal, none of what has been described above; plus his mother mentioned that she was also slow to walk when she was younger. Eye contact was surprisingly- still held, but otherwise he would definitely have struck me as an autistic child.

I also met a child who was then diagnosed with spastic hemiplegia CP. Such an adorable 16 month old, who smiles incessantly and active as ever. Yet his mother cried when the doctor confirmed her worst fears -- that her baby wasn't normal. Cried even more when he advised her to apply for the OKU card actually.

Hmm. makes me wonder if there could be something between me and paeds. as much as its painful to go through the milestone examinations I'm starting to feel how Bern could be so attached to the little darlings. CP's are generally quite common but I think that encountering a Fragile X for the first time was quite.... mentionable. (there is no such english word)

Guess they aren't only found in textbooks under 'rare'.

Oh yeah talking about rare; there was a Henoch schonlein purpura case in the wards today.

YUP. you could see the 'WHAT?!' s on top of all our heads when the specialist came up with the diagnosis. Upon inspection I thought it was a freaking healing chicken pox (but i did reason out that if it was he would have probably been isolated) !!

Anyways paeds has been quite eventful thus far.

No quote today but I'll show u a picca

:)

So yes, today I attempted, no wait I actually cooked up a healthy meal. well, healthy because there were stuffs from all the food classes there (usually it's just a tiny problem cause i refuse to include residents of the leaf village.. or the carbo village... or the fat; ok lets stop there)

but guess who ended up mucking my great reunion attempt?

dear mr OIL.

UGH.it appears that my first lesson this year is to condition myself to the presence of unhealthiness; Starting with actually adding oil into the pan.

bright side is- at least there's virtually nothing stuck to the bottom of the grey thing.

'tis tough and winding, this task of being a woman. (who knows how to cook)

Heck yeah im terrified of cooking! bleh