This is one of the periods where time has never been so significant in my life before.

*Sure I might repeat this post when im sitting for my finals next year.. but that's beside the point*


*

The journey from KL to Ipoh takes about 3.5 hours by bus using the highway... and I don't know why but the image stuck in my mind is the green signboard found on the NS highway stating Ipoh 163km.

I'm driving and it's my first time on a roadtrip. I've been to Ipoh, or at least I've heard the wonderful stories about it, but I've not reached yet. In fact it's a hundred and sixty three km's away. which is no fun if you're driving alone, and worst still if there's a traffic jam due to a landslide or something. But I know I've got to reach, and i know that it'll be worthwhile to be there. *Seriously the meat pau's are to die for*

But here's the catch, how many of us, while on the way to Ipoh, swerves out and around the highway? Turn into Bukit Merah, get distracted by it's water park advertisements or whatnots? What if it starts raining heavily and you decide to pull over at some hotel nearby to claim shelter but then realized that that initially unknown area is actually not as bad as you think and you decide to stay there? In the worst case scenario, you make a U turn at Sungai Buloh and head back to KL. The outcome is the same : You don't reach your Ipoh.

I suppose it's only human nature, but as i've only recently found out what kinda personality i have and why (explains all the weird moodswings and oddities i've been feeling these past years definitely) i realize that the touchy-feely side of me could really use some backbone. Being the inexperienced first timer driver that I am, i seem to be insisting that any little sign of civilization i see along the way is Ipoh. Enthusiastic, i drive out of the highway only to realize that it isn't. That's really alright, if petrol wasn't so expensive, and my enthusiasm was infinite; which, it isn't. I really need to learn how to read signboards and not go off on tangents. Costly tangents.

I trusted in, relied on, and was confident in You, O Lord; I said, You are my God.

My times are in Your hands; deliver me from the hands of my foes and those who pursue me and persecute me.

PSALM 31:14, 15 AMP

For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come and will not delay.

Habakkuk 2:3

Okay it's a really figurative illustration but we were all born with minds, so use it. =)

**
Apparently the 2009 IMYF camp took place a few days ago at Chefoo meth centre in CH. I noticed a few things after looking at all the pictures : Is a DSLR really so cheap or are stwnese's really getting richer by the years? Hahah Feels like the age at which one obtains a professional camera is inversely proportional to the model of the camera. but anyway i digress...

what i really noticed was how much the kiddies have grown. homg, like watttttttttttttttttttt? those kecik mayungs that barely reached my knees (okay that's too much an exaggeration) are now like... taller than me? no wayyyyyyyyyyy. (And Chelle, btw if ur reading this, ur bro's included too). WOW. i feel old. They're almost grown up, tall and they own dslrs. how come my sweet 14,15,16's weren't anything like this?! I mean the only person i remember owning a digital cam at that age was Ash (who now also owns a dslr, like duh~)
maybe he was the only one who bothered bringing it . lol.

but at the same time I couldn't help but Question Him why? Why is it she couldn't be like them, be part of them, why was it her face was not in any of the pictures? Why could she not have a normal typical 15 year old IMYF camp? why did the neighbour say nothing about it when we're neighbours? is she that far into her own world now? To treat her differently, is not something we should do, but to treat her like any normal teenager, is not something we could do either. Time's passing by so fast so soon now that in a blink of an eye they'll be graduating high school. And then what? What about the years that should have been hers in the first place?


Yet I know about the years that are hers. That she still has. I am thankful for the fact that i am able to complain, rather than reminisce. But this is just so frustrating. I feel like every second we waste is imperative, like that could have been 1s more in her life that could have made a fricking difference. So much for the cliched medical answer huh. I wonder where are the people who wanted to make a difference in the world today. And I wonder what and who this frusts are directed against. ...


***
Moving on from all the emo and pent up frustration, i have more emoness and pent up frustrations! yay! haha...

no but the fact that i have about 10 days to exams - NO FUN.