Mum decided I was a little too free dawdling around the house so she decided that I'd be interested in doing a short attachment in HSM. Yes the italics and the first person pov usage says alot. hahaha
I got a good tongue-in-cheek answer tho;- " so that you'll have interesting things to talk about with me".
Right.
I used to think that those doctors I met during my first attachment, the very first ones, the one where JPA wanted us to have to put into our CV, the ones where you try to pretend like your doctors, hang around, do nothing, understand nothing and even take up patients beds on the pretense of being on-call.... I DIGRESS.
Yah, i used to think tht those doctors who asked me over and over and over and over again, if medicine was reallllllly what i wanted to do. Did I really know what i was getting myself into? I think I remember one of them even telling me that it wasn't worth it, it actually wasn't. hahaha. Wow, those were the days.
Only today, you're still taking up space and oxygen, but fortunately, at least you're giving back a little something in return. if only ~ really. Not that bad, a hand here, a cuff there, you make yourself useful... by staying out of their way. hehe. There are times where I wonder if it would be different overseas, I wonder if the doctors there face the same predicaments as the docs here. If they are overworked in overcrowded wards as well, or if they are ragged and irrationally berated by pmsy SHO's. (Tho i do know they get sued alot...lol)
Today I got tiao'ed in the hosp. The same someone also mentioned that I got affected emotionally by it. Yes meh?
I don't think so tho, cus if I did, i might have shouted back at her. Since technically I didn't have anything to lose; I wasn't her HO, i wasn't even a doc ffs, so i was in essence, nothing :)
Ah well, i hate doctors who pms in wards. meh. Dun wan shake hand mar dun wan shake hand lah.. ISH.
I suppose there are always the bright slides that you look for at the end of the day, things which are not essentially medicine (because I cannot prescribe or treat ppl, technically speaking, yet) but still such a vital part of it that you can't leave it out. I realize that I tend to so nicely ignore it because by omitting it, it makes me seem like I'm suffering so much for my life's cause. Things like having a 9 month old baby smiling and shaking hands with me, then having the grandmother say that he only does that to a very few handful of people, definitely not ppl he meets for the first time; Things like haggling with the MO to do suturing and realizing that it's not because he doesnt trust me but because he wants to do it himself... (he says as a student he never got to do it lol), Things like having 4 translators to get a question of 'do u have palpitations' across (like from english to chinese to hokkien, to half hokkien-thai to thai and back again) Things like having a nurse and the HO telling me that that person in mind memang damn pmsy one and that I dont have to worry too much.... things like that =)
not to mention, The special one is here~!!! It feels so surreal... :)
I like reaching out to grab a hand that is actually there.
I've found out that my mother doesn't agree with the quote ;)
Remind me again why am i doing medicine?
I got a good tongue-in-cheek answer tho;- " so that you'll have interesting things to talk about with me".
Right.
I used to think that those doctors I met during my first attachment, the very first ones, the one where JPA wanted us to have to put into our CV, the ones where you try to pretend like your doctors, hang around, do nothing, understand nothing and even take up patients beds on the pretense of being on-call.... I DIGRESS.
Yah, i used to think tht those doctors who asked me over and over and over and over again, if medicine was reallllllly what i wanted to do. Did I really know what i was getting myself into? I think I remember one of them even telling me that it wasn't worth it, it actually wasn't. hahaha. Wow, those were the days.
Only today, you're still taking up space and oxygen, but fortunately, at least you're giving back a little something in return. if only ~ really. Not that bad, a hand here, a cuff there, you make yourself useful... by staying out of their way. hehe. There are times where I wonder if it would be different overseas, I wonder if the doctors there face the same predicaments as the docs here. If they are overworked in overcrowded wards as well, or if they are ragged and irrationally berated by pmsy SHO's. (Tho i do know they get sued alot...lol)
Today I got tiao'ed in the hosp. The same someone also mentioned that I got affected emotionally by it. Yes meh?
I don't think so tho, cus if I did, i might have shouted back at her. Since technically I didn't have anything to lose; I wasn't her HO, i wasn't even a doc ffs, so i was in essence, nothing :)
Ah well, i hate doctors who pms in wards. meh. Dun wan shake hand mar dun wan shake hand lah.. ISH.
I suppose there are always the bright slides that you look for at the end of the day, things which are not essentially medicine (because I cannot prescribe or treat ppl, technically speaking, yet) but still such a vital part of it that you can't leave it out. I realize that I tend to so nicely ignore it because by omitting it, it makes me seem like I'm suffering so much for my life's cause. Things like having a 9 month old baby smiling and shaking hands with me, then having the grandmother say that he only does that to a very few handful of people, definitely not ppl he meets for the first time; Things like haggling with the MO to do suturing and realizing that it's not because he doesnt trust me but because he wants to do it himself... (he says as a student he never got to do it lol), Things like having 4 translators to get a question of 'do u have palpitations' across (like from english to chinese to hokkien, to half hokkien-thai to thai and back again) Things like having a nurse and the HO telling me that that person in mind memang damn pmsy one and that I dont have to worry too much.... things like that =)
not to mention, The special one is here~!!! It feels so surreal... :)
I like reaching out to grab a hand that is actually there.
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever~Mahatma Gandhi
I've found out that my mother doesn't agree with the quote ;)
